How to Reduce Conflicts to Live a Happier, Healthier and a More Fulfilling Life

Interestingly, unique experiences and unexpected events which haven’t been encountered before are perfect recipes for conflicts and drama. Being made redundant, working from home, relationship breakdowns, the loss of a loved one, home-schooling, global pandemics…you name it.

It’s important to learn what we don’t know to prevent being trapped in a web of dramas and conflicts which will impact on your mental, physical and psychological wellbeing.

Psychiatrist Karpman (1965) presents an overview of how conflicts occur in a model which he refers to as the ‘Drama Triangle’. This expresses that each person plays a specific role in any conflict.

Despite the model being triangular, it’s a cyclical approach and individuals can rotate around the triangle depending on the situation and/or their environment.

He introduces three roles: the ‘victim’, ‘rescuer’ and ‘persecutor’ in his model and intriguingly, one role isn’t more superior than the other as all parties have the best intentions. But, when stuck in this metaphorical “triangle” their emotions can be extremely unresourceful which reduces the likelihood for a positive outcome.

So, what do you do from here if you find yourself involved in conflict?

Step 1: Take a step back and assess where you are on the triangle. Each person on the triangle has a positive intention so it’s important to get a bird’s eye view of the situation and try to see it from their perspective.

Step 2: Be your own James Bond or Luther (clearly, I have a thing for Idris Elba) and investigate the facts. It’s important to ask yourself, “What have I actually seen or heard?” and also “Am I making any assumptions?”

Step 3: Find a more empowering resolution. During a situation where tensions are high it’s difficult to think objectively but again, it’s important for you to reflect on the situation and ask yourself, “what would I like to have happen here?”

Step 4: Ignite a more positive and meaningful dialogue with the parties involved and listen to each other.

Step 5: Recognise the role which you no longer choose to play in any conflict or drama. Empower yourself to focus on you and the things which are within your control; let go of the things that you can’t control which no longer serve you.

Just a heads up…

If you’re a teacher reading this, I thank you for all you have done during these uniquely different times. To support you I have partnered with a friend of mine (Sarah Bramall) who is also a qualified teacher and transformation coach - together we have launched ‘The Teacher Wellbeing Project’. We are offering coaching, mentoring, training and support on mindset and wellbeing to help our teaching community to live happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives doing what they love.

Join our free online community over at: www.facebook.com/groups/theteacherwellbeingproject 

About the Writer 

Rebecca is an award-winning social entrepreneur, an internationally recognised, fully accredited and qualified Teacher, Transformation Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and DISC Behaviour and Personality Profiling Practitioner. 

Rebecca passionately helps heart-centered and purpose driven professionals (including those within the education sector) to thrive in all aspects of their lives. Her core purpose is to empower her clients through powerful and transformational coaching, mentoring and training so they can live a truly fulfilled life. 

If you’d like support on reducing the conflicts and eliminating the dramas in your life then you can find out more about Rebecca and her services over at: https://bit.ly/theteacherwellbeingproject

She also hangs out in her free Facebook group (for heart-centered and purpose driven professionals and entrepreneurs to thrive): www.facebook.com/groups/TheJigsawCommunity

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